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Fed-up Santa files suit
The Salt Lake Tribune
Updated: 12/18/2009 06:09:18 PM MST
Santa Claus is suing the United States, claiming government policies are threatening his health, home and livelihood.
The jolly old elf plans to stuff the paperwork in the president’s stocking, or serve him face-to-face by crashing a White House Christmas party.
Claus, doing business as Christmas Inc., Kris Kringle Enterprises and North Pole Ho-Ho-Hos (an escort service he operates to finance his philanthropic endeavors), will sue the Food and Drug Administration, the Drug Enforcement Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency.
When contacted at the Fashion Place Mall last week, Claus claimed the FDA’s failure to limit trans fats, high fructose corn syrup and other harmful substances in processed baked goods is to blame for his high cholesterol, hypertension and a belly that shakes “like a bowl full of jelly.”

See the full article from “Salt Lake Tribune”